I’ve been rolling this around in my head the past couple days. It started out as a body-based reflection. When I see an outfit in a store, our put my clothes together for the day, I see in my head how I think I will look in it. I’m then slightly surprised–rarely for the better–when I see a picture of myself in that same outfit. That’s not how I thought I looked!

So I’ve been composing this blog post about how part of why I’m doing all this is so that the me I see in my head, and the me I see in pictures, are at least in theory close to being the same person. Then I got to thinking about how it’s really about so much more than that.

Confession time: when I was at Swift Base Camp with the Venture Crew this summer, one of the opportunities they had was to go rappelling. I thought it sounded really cool.  We took the hike to the base point, and as they took out the materials to make the harnesses, “I thought, oh no. I’ll never get that around me.” When they went climbing, I thought, “Yeah, right, like I could pull myself up the side of a cliff.”

But the person inside me was screaming, “Hell yeah! Let’s go!”

I’ve come to realize that yes, I want to be able to take pictures and then look at them and say, “Wow, that looks better than I thought!” But I also want to be able to rappel and climb and play lasertag and participate in rec night and not fidget and fuss with my clothes to make sure they’re sitting right and etc. The me inside me is ready to try damn near anything and is comfortable in her own skin. I can’t wait to let her out.

Speaking of pictures, tomorrow is the 1-month mark for the primal thing, so I’ll have a progress report ready to go. Unless I eat an entire turtle cheesecake tonight and sabotage the results, I’m pretty happy about the whole thing. See you tomorrow!

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